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How I dread the drop-ins

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carers

For over two weeks now, I have just given the mail a cursory look each morning, and then put it on the pending pile until I have time to deal with it. Which of course doesn't happen unless I neglect, or can juggle, other things which demand my attention.

Although the pile is out of sight in my cupboard sized study, it is constantly nagging at the back of my mind, and I know that I will not feel comfortable until it has been dealt with.

Today, I am in too much pain to be very physically occupied, and Wriggle Bum is very sleepy, so it is a no brainer – today is desk day! Correction, today was intended to have been desk day. No sooner had I lowered my own bum, (gently, because of the discomfort) onto the desk chair, than the door knocker got me to my feet again. A long-time-no-see friend, having heard that I had been hospitalised, decided to drop in. For two hours and 37 minutes!

Q. Why do people assume that because you are always at home, you are always available.

A.  No idea.

Q.  Why do people assume that because they have nothing to do for the next few hours, you don't either.

A.   No idea.

Q.  Why do people assume that when you are not in the best of health, you need company, whereas you are most likely craving for some peace and quiet, to be able to enjoy a book, or some music, to slob out, have some quiet time, or just sleep. Surely it is when you are vigorous and well you most enjoy company.

A.   No idea

Q.  Why do people not realise that an unexpected visit can cause disruption, and often embarrassment. What is wrong with ringing just to check if the timing is good for you.

A.   No idea

Q.   What makes them think that their schedule is more important than yours. “I'm just on my way to....”, “I was just passing so......”, “I had an hour to kill, so...”, “I know mornings are bad for you but I had to come over here for a hair appointment” and comments of that ilk can be, indeed are, so hurtful. Tantamount to saying “you are not important enough for a visit per se, but only if it fits in with something else, to make it worthwhile”.

A.  No idea

Q.  Why do I not ask these questions of the people themselves.

A.   Because, as anyone in my situation will tell you, once your social worth has been devalued through illness, bereavement or other life changing circumstances, a very great percentage of your former friends just fade away, they melt like snowflakes. You just cannot risk alienating the few who stay the course, so you put up with the hurtfulness of their thoughtlessness.

Other answers / solutions would be most gratefully received.

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