Home | Blogs | RGMs

RGMs

idea.nottingham.ac.uk image: Dementia Day to Day blogs banner

Topics: 
carers, hobbies

Very very occasionally, there are magic moments when patient care and every aspect of domesticity all 'come together'.

The kitchen is squeaking with cleanly pride, windows gleam, freshly arranged flowers adorn every room, and the water in the vases hasn't begun to stink yet. Fragrant wafts of Coq au Vin escape from the oven, vying with the perfume of furniture polish. There is not a single festoon of laundry to be seen, all having been washed, ironed and put away. Robert is wearing a tee shirt which does not resemble a forensic map of what he was fed for breakfast; I have cut his hair, and shaved him without a single nick. His fingernails are trimmed; I have even splashed on the aftershave.

The garden is tidy, and watered, the bird feeders have been filled. There are ample supplies of Rs drugs, and no dash and grovel to the GP is needed.

I even have time to sit with R, who, in keeping with the domestic scene, is at his cognitive best today. We discuss which home we would buy under the hammer, what should happen to the benefit cheats, and which would be the best place in the sun.

Does anyone drop in to see us on rare days like this? No, of course they don't!

Visitors are programmed to call when the house is a tip, and everything is chaotic.

 

Above all, the law of Sod decrees that they arrive at the exact moment when bodily functions are urgently imminent, or are in the process of being dealt with.

I call these times RGMs – Rubber Glove Moments. I don't think I need draw diagrams.

Alternatively, Sod arranges that friends call when you are tied up with the GP, Chiropodist, Continence nurse, Solicitor … and so on.

Then I get uncomfortable and flustered and embarrassed, having to try to convey a welcome, but at the same time explain that the visit is somewhat inconvenient at the moment, and that the moment might well last for another 30 minutes.

So, dear friends everywhere, we love to see you, we really do, but your visit would bring us even more pleasure if you could just give a quick ring beforehand, so that we can anticipate it with pleasure, and have the kettle on.

Having said that, if you enjoy hanging around waiting for a meeting to end, or enjoy being a bystander at an RGM, with its accompanying sights and sound and smells, then, whatever floats your boat pal!  

Your comments

You'd be very welcome to leave a comment on this blog post.  You do need to be logged in to leave a comment, if you don't already have a username and password you can register here.

Your comment won't appear straight away as we'll need to check it first: thank you for your patience.

When leaving comments please bear in mind our posting rules.

See more like this

Tom Dening

This isn’t about dementia at all but it’s about what dominated the weekend for this researcher.

Elaine Argyle

Social support at home is key to enabling people with dementia to continue to live independently and in deferring or avoiding their transition to long term care.  Since the launch of the NHS and Community Care Act in 1990, and its promotion of care in the community, home care provision for people

Elaine Argyle

Access to the outdoors is known to have a positive impact on wellbeing, due to such benefits as exercise and activity as well as the promotion of social inclusion and interaction, however, for people with dementia, this access is often denied. The reasons for this are wide ranging including disor